Welcome to Coft

I was a tad late so I hurriedly scampered into the building.  I didn't  have time to look to the right nor left of me.  I was focused.  I had no time for distractions.  If someone greeted me with kind words, I do not remember.  If anyone had acknowledge me with an affirmative nod, I was not aware of it.  I was totally focused on getting inside of the church and unto the seat with my warm tushy to occupy it.  I had a clear path to my seat and then claim the worship place which was rightfully mine.  Afterwards, I would enjoy the perfect view of the service.  I nonchalantly quickened my pace so that no onlooker could witness what my intentions were.  An elderly gent glance over his right shoulder and noticed me coming up from behind him but continued onward.  The old dude had a slow gait. But I had youth and quickness.  I glanced ahead and realized that he was heading towards my seat. (What Nerve!) I always sat in that seat for the whole two months that I attended there. He glanced backwards over his left shoulder and knew I was going for it! I made my move too soon so I pulled an okey doke and went back to the right.  He didn't realize that he was not gonna get that seat!  that was my seat. That seat was mine.  I pulled even with him with just enough room to quickly dart ahead of him and slip into my seat,  I chuckled to myself as I thought  "he'd better begin to search for somewhere else to sit, because his first choice ain't gonna happen",  I was just about to pat myself on the back and congratulate myself for being faster than a senior citizen, when that old man flicked out his right arm and knocked me off stride.  He effortlessly nudged me with his right elbow just enough to get me off balance,  He nonchalantly pushed me so that no onlooker would notice his intentions.  His stern nudge propelled me past the pew and my seat.  Then he had the audacity to sit down in my chosen seat.  He calmly glanced up at me as he was sitting down,  I  hurriedly mean mugged him and began to search for another seat.  My second choice for a seat turned out to be horrible!  The view  was inadequate, but it didn't matter because I wasn't paying attention to the service anyway.  I was too busy fuming about  how that old man had victimized me by stealing my seat.  And even worse he had the gall to exhibit that behavior in a house of worship. I never even began to examine my motives or behavior.  I was so upset that I didn't listen to the minister or message that morning.  If Lazarus had been resurrected again and moonwalked over to me then tap danced on my toes, I would have missed it. Yes you're right! I was that pissed off in a house of worship.  I was in the church but the church was not in me.  I harbored those resentments, and complained about those events to any ear I could find.  I told my one -sided story to everyone, until a friend enlightened me with some much needed wisdom.  In a nutshell, she said Paul, the man has experienced life's ups and downs for over 70 years, don't you think he may have deserved that seat? And unlike you Paul, he probably let that insignificant  moment go the next moment after it happened, and made the best of an undeserving  situation that sometimes happens in life.  You must realize that, It is not mentally or emotionally heathy to harbor ill will and negativity within your heart and mind, because the weight of all that torment may break you down.  Try to let it go! You are not a victim! The positive benefits of releasing dead weight from within you, will allow you to freely live more peacefully .  Try to focus on things that you can control and please, please, please try to get some character, integrity and class, because Paul you appear to have little if not any of it. end quote!  Of course I immediately unfriended her. (smile) After I had unfriended her for weeks because she didn't cosign my BS, a light went off in my head and began to cover the darkness in my mind.  I began to realize, that the love and compassion in the words she uttered to me was being received by my spirit. I began the process of letting go of resentments, negativity and ill will towards others. It was like a shackle of dead weight was lifted off my soul.  The bondage of torment, grief, and hatred  was being broken.  I began to feel liberated from the snares of self centeredness, and narcistic attitudes. I began to change for the betterment of me, and humanity.  I realized that  we need to not just hear the truth, but more importantly we need to listen and confirm truths, then we have the tools to make the right decisions, and also to act courageously to try and uphold the truth, especially when it concerns ourselves. Now that I’m  older, whenever I reflect on the past and present events in my life, I am overwhelmed by the joy and satisfaction that I have found in altruistic values.  I have been blessed to have received  countless moments of joy and satisfaction from being concerned about the wellbeing of others. If you want to add layers of selfless actions and more self worth to your life, try volunteering.  Do something nice for some one in need. I have been blessed by volunteering to help others, individually, and collectively with programs such as Big brother, help for the elderly, non profit's , and many other humanitarian organizations.  Life is an interesting journey.   You and I may not be where we want to be: but thank God that he has bought us from where we were!

Excerpts from my coming book:  My Tribute; an Unfinished Work